Lyle picked a place using his normal utter lack of planning and forethought. As usual, it worked fine and called into question my entire worldview.
Auggie had a half meltdown because his tablet died. I am an utter failure as a parent because I didn't bring a charging brick. I know this because he told me so repeatedly. When it became clear this was escalating, I took him out to the car and left Lyle to get dessert to go and pay the bill. This endeared me to absolutely no one.
Sam did his math tutoring session (shoutout to JerryB!) from the care like the jetsetter that he is. Auggie and I played Kanoodle in the front seat and Auggie muttered the answers to Sam's math questions under his breath in a condescending tone.
On the way back to the hotel Auggie explained that he could just tutor Sam in math, at which point Sam tried to stump him with math questions and failed.
Then, Auggie's pink 3D printed lizard (Sparkle Crystal) started telling everyone they were failures. Things included in Sparkle Crystal's list: MarMar's bees that Sparkle Crystal has never met on account of just joining the family yesterday; Daddy's chocolate milk, which is widely acknowledged as being top tier; JerryB; MarMar (obviously, see previous discussion); Daddy; Shadow, etc.
Meanwhile, Shadow (Sam's 3D printed gator from yesterday) has announced that Sparkle Crystal needs therapy and that while Shadow does agree with some of Sparkle Crystal's observations, Shadow prefers not to say those things out loud because people's feelings might get hurt.
Seriously guys, this is happening.
In other news, pretty sure we're not doing an epic road trip for next year's vacation. Lyle will be in charge. He will do no research or advance planning. We will have the best time ever and both children will rave about how he is naturally gifted and clearly superior in all things.
Half Meltdown Counter:
Sam: 4
Auggie: 8
MarMar: 6
Lyle: 2
Meltdown Counter:
Auggie: 3
Sam: 0
MarMar: 1
Lyle: 0
Chick Fil A Counter: 2
Bags of ice: 6
No comments:
Post a Comment